My best advice is:
1) Always follow through with both rewards and punishments. If you fail to follow through kids will lose respect for your authority.
2) Always think before you say NO. Sometimes we say NO because it is easier than saying yes, but saying NO all the time it is very discouraging.
3) Replace "punishment" with cause and effect -- for instance --
You wrote on the wall with crayon, so you will have to clean the wall before you do do anything else and then follow through..... You can have dinner when the wall is clean, you can go play when the wall is clean, you can go to the bathroom when the wall is clean, etc.... you become a broken record.... you can do _____ when the wall is clean. Be cheerful and go about your merry way, have fun, have a FANTASTIC snack, watch a movie out of viewing range, play a game, etc. Give a reason to accomplish the task. Be creative, have fun, and NEVER EVER get angry. Cause and effect is not about punishment it is the natural effects of your actions.
A more positive example could be: You did a FANTASTIC job cleaning up your toys, so let's go to the park and play. |