Hi everyone. sorry i havent been on, its just really hard for me to get on right now. Maddie is next door with Bob and Jane now after repeted out breaks on lexi. we've even tried several times after she has been gone to take Lexi back over and the same thing keeps happening.
I hadn't changed one thing for Maddie, not food, toys, shampoos, meds, treats, nothing. she's had the same stuff 4-ever. Bob and Jane even use different shampoo stuff on her and same thing. I even tried letting Lexi play with Maddie right after a bath and still same thing. Lexi pays outside alot so its not a pollan thing. She has completed the full testing of allergy injections and found she is allergic to dogs, mold, and dust. Those were the only things she came hives too. I've had her around the guys at work dog and she broke out too. I've talked to the doctor and they said at this age her body is changing and it may just be a new allergy that she has developed and may grow out of later in life. Me and lauryn are like this with cats. I did start her on the shots as hard it it was for me and it totally freaks her out. i honestly don't think they hurt, its just a scared kinda thing. right now she goes 3 times a week. when i say we have to go to the doctor she cries all the way there and freaks out bad. i've tried everything and it still freaks her out. Doctor said i still shouldnt have her around dogs even after wards. sHe said she just has a bad reaction and its up to me to keep those to a miniumn. I can tell she dont' have pets.
As hard as the decision was Maddie has really brought joy into the lives of Bob and Jane. She goes and gets yogurt nightly. they are so wonderful to her and thank us everyday. I dont go see maddie everyday cause its hard on me and i think its confusing for her too. She get so excited when I do come. Bob and Jane did say for some reason in the future that Lexi's shots for some reason take care of everything that she is ours at anytime. They had Maddie cut down shorter again, but a full face. She looks really cute and less maintenace for them.
I truely don't understand why all of this is happening and I know its not for me to question. I just try deal with it on a day by day basis. I feel as though my heart has been ripped out and laying numb. I've been so depressed and i'm not a depressive type person. I'm trying to get out of this rut and realize its time to pick myself up, quit feeling sorry for myself, and be thankful for all I have regardless.
I thank each and everyone of you on here and I'm sorry I havent been on. Take care of those adorable babies and hold them close to your heart. Maddie will always be in my heart. At least I know she is ok, and not dead this time. Still....i miss her like crazy and miss when i'm having a bad day, she is not there to hop up on me and snuggle and give me kisses.
Maybe she was put on this earth to help people...maybe she was just my gift for a short time, maybe God has another plan for her than with me, Maybe she's here to help heal lonely hearts, maybe my heart has to heal even though I don't know how to do it. |