Saleswman You're from Ohio too!!! Wish I wasnt...lol
MindieRose , MeganS, flgurl69 , Susan123
chachi ,LBrooks323,yorkiesmiles
a2luckygirl katelin, and to everyone else...I know I missed some I'm sorry.
Thank you for keeping me in your prayers and thoughts.
red98vett, I just hope you see how bad it sounds from this end. I dont know you or your husband ....but he sounds very immature and also physical - put those together and you have an abusive man who could possibly hurt you -
Yes....I know it sounds bad..and I feel sometimes I'm in danger.I do leave..But I am afraid of him and just try to stay out of his way.
katelin
Just keep planning and moving towards your goal. Take good care of yourself and your babies.. I'll be thinking of you today.
And your other long informative post....Geeeeeez girl....Thank you SO MUCH!!!!!!!!
You must have took an hour to type that all.
Is that what you meant when you typed it and lost it ? OMG ((((((hugs))))))
I just cant tell you enough I wish/hope that all were true.
But I have a plan...And I am taking notes to a new attorney.
I am going to look for a WOMAN like someone else said...
(The other attorney was a man) hope maybe he just didn't like me...
Or it was a man thing...you know? I pray he isn't right on Ohio laws.
I kept thinking...as I have been for 2 years....this is just not right...this is so unfair...
I sent email to myself with yours and a couple other ones. So I can make good notes for the attorney. Millions of questions for her. I will start Monday looking for one in my area. Jen is helping me.
Please dont anyone worry about me...I do leave..Its harder now with Allie due to whelp and Nala soon. But I will take her and leave for the night before I put myself in danger.
He hasnt been as violent in a while now. I thank God for that too.
I decided not to tell him that I'd seen the porn. It would only make more problems for me. And I'd lose my computer again. Its kinda my lifeline right now.
I know that sounds stupid but it really is.
As half the time he gets angry if I even talk to my kids on the phone.
We all think its because no one ever calls him...Go figure?!?!?!?!
But I talk to my kids all the time online ...so its just better not to even say anything
I really dont care...as you all said thats the least of my problem.
You all are special to me right now too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by katelin  Debbi,
First, get another attorney. Look for a woman, they are sometimes more sympathetic. Especially look for a family law specialist. They are state certified and should be better than a run-of-the-mill attorney in this area. For an attorney to tell you that when you are ready the money won't mean a thing is utter nonsense! How poor and dependent does he want you to be??? I hate to say it, but there are still those men out there that don't want a woman to be in charge of her own destiny and think they should stay in their marriages. (Sorry if you saw a woman already, same advice) Get another attorney!
As I said I don't know Ohio law, but in CA we have no-fault divorce. Anyone can pull the plug at any time for any (or no) reason. If you must prove cause for a divorce in Ohio, you have it. You have been abused. You have been to the hospital and there are records that are available to you. You and your family can make declarations of the treatment you have suffered. You have cause, and you can prove it. Don't worry about trying to get him on tape etc. Most judges hear this stuff all day and don't take any stock in He said/She said. They are looking for more hard evidence. YOU HAVE IT. So don't worry about that.
Again, not familiar with Ohio law, but know the underlying principles for contract and family law. Your Prenup is a Contract. It is enforceable by any court (still valid right? under 5 years since marriage?). Whatever you agreed to (assuming it was properly entered into) is the DEAL between you. Check the language carefully. Courts want to enforce the exact letter of the contract. Assuming you get your initial investment back under the prenup agreement, you will probably have to sell the house and split any of the additional profit (less expenses). But this isn't all bad. You can then go on in this depressed economy and buy something else that is all yours. Or perhaps buy out his interest, whichever you can agree upon. thank goodness you got a prenup. (Although I do have a question about which came first, the property or the prenup, and the language in the prenup. You need to see a lawyer for this).
You need a protective order. He won't go quietly into the sunset. Get ready for this as best you can, and be strong! Have everything in order (including changing the locks on the house and making sure the Sheriff has a copy of the protective order) before you have him served.
I still maintain that the date of separation determines when you stop being responsible for his debts (including medical, unless insurance is paying for it). Otherwise what would stop any vindictive spouse (and there are lots out there) from running up all the charge accounts, etc. just to get back at the other spouse??? Surely those men/women in Ohio legislature haven't lost all of their marbles (sorry, I just get so mad at the inequities the law sometimes sets up). So check into this, as it is key to removing all of your husband's power to threaten you. True, you would be equally responsible if you were still married, but not if you are separated. (IMO).
Here, the "date of separation" is determined by the date you decide to leave or be "separate". It helps to have something concrete to point to, such as signing papers at a lawyers' office, kicking the spouse out of the house followed by legal action, leaving the home yourself, etc. But in truth, it is really based upon your state of mind, that is, when you decide you are not going to be married any more. However, courts have so much trouble with this they like to have something concrete to point to. Your lawyer can advise you... but I would be shocked if there wasn't some "date of separation" that can be applied to your debts. If so, you are in the clear, just don't tell him anything until you are ready and have done what you can do to establish the date of separation. You may have to leave the home to do this (take your furbabies too). Don't be afraid of doing that if necessary. It doesn't mean the house (or your investment) is lost to you forever.
Now for you. Be strong. You can do this! This man doesn't have anything but fear and intimidation in his arsenal. He ain't got nothin else goin on. Don't buy into it. You are a great person and deserve the very best (and there are "best" men out there still). You'll be whelping with one hand and kickin that man out with the other.... I'd love to see that! 
Now I have to do a little disclaimer: I'm not licensed in Ohio to practice law, and I'm retired (inactive status) in California.
Hugs, and Yorkie Hugs to you and all your babies. |