Will your husband fight you at all on moving your son to another state?
I hope you have an easy divorce. Decide now about the things that matter to you. I guess if you work in the legal profession you may know a lot & a least know how to find a good attorney & how to work with them.
In my horrid experience there is a couple things I did right and a couple things I wish I would have fought harder for.
So here's a bit of my story - despite the fact that the attorney said it was traditional to do every other holiday, I fought against this because his family never celebrated Christmas then - they did it on a weekend usually around New Year's - so I asked for my daughter every Christmas Eve & Christmas, but offered him 3 hrs on Christmas night to spend with our dd - the attorney said he wouldn't accept it. He totally went for it.
I let him make his request for visitation - he only asked for every other weekend from 2pm Sat to 5 pm Sun. - which he often picked her up late or missed the weekends all together. He was also suppose to have 2 weeks in the summer - not even sure he ever took her for 7 days ever in one yrs time.
What I wish I would have fought for - one friend gave me this advice. Do not let him claim your child every-other-year on his taxes. You'll need the deduction, instead ask for every yr to claim your child or at the most offer him every fifth yr to claim or perhaps in your case every 3rd or 4th yr
Also, if you have any student loans that he helped you obtain to get your education, so that you could contribute to the family, make sure he is also responsible for the pay off of the loans. I made a huge mistake not fighting this for several reasons - I had the big money debt you can get while going to grad school & he had spent the money on other things than my education, because the interest was low. Many mistakes I made there. Also, I had helped him pay off his school loans - he was older than me - we paid them all off & now I am stuck with 10s of thousands of dollars in loans & building horrid interest on it every day.
Decide what you want - don't let your attorney say that isn't the way it's done. I told my attorney, the worst he can do is say no to my request. He gave in to several things that mattered to me.
Also, as long as you have been married you should qualify for spousal support and be able to get part of his retirement account. 10 yrs or more of marriage does help with some of that. Know what your state says about how long you've been married & what other rights you have.
Hugs & prayers for you as you go thru this. |