It was very brave and nobel of you to forgive him the first time..you are a strong person and he should have been grateful just to have you...unfortunately some don't see the "second chance" and make the necessary changes in their lives.
I pray you have a good support system around you (of course you have us
). My girlfriend went thru similar heartache and battled depression. We were with her all the way through it all and today, she and her kids are happier than ever! It's understandable to feel hurt, depressed & lonely during this time. Let out your feelings and with the support & time, the healing will begin.
Big hugs to you!