I'm 40, so not quite (yet) at hot flash stage - but I still suffer PMS - and I had tried EVERYthing. Anywho, I finally found this company called Oona - and I was like "fine, I'll try it" and it actually helped (I use their PMS 1 Formula).
They also make a Menopause Formula that might be worth a shot:
http://www.oonausa.com/
I know you don't eat meat - so I'm not sure how you'd feel about using HRT therapy and the whole horse/animal cruelty thing - so the Oona might be an alternative for you (and def. healthier too).