I remember that my mom was never in the room with me and my childhood dentist (I don't know if it was her choice or his), and he was supposedly so "kid friendly" that he didn't give novocaine shots beacuse it might hurt. Well, his alternative was to make us drink some nasty syrup that was supposed to put us out (didn't work) and then strap us down to the chair so we couldn't move.
I didn't tell my mom about it for years, and thank god this man has retired now, but I was left with some pretty major "dentist issues" after that.
My point is: it is up to you to make sure your daughter is taken care of, and if this jerk dentist doesn't understand that, then find one who does!
Any
good children's dentists would agree with you.
~H