[J_is_my_initial]

Installing A Husband
>
> Dear Tech Support,
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to
> Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in
> overall system performance -- particularly in
> the flower and jewelry applications, which
> operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other
> valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and
> Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
> undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0,
> and Golf Clubs 4.1.
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
> Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
> I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
> problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
>
> Signed, Desperate
> -------------------------------------
> Dear Desperate:
>
> First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an
> Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an
> Operating System.
>
> Please enter the command: 'I Thought You Loved
> Me.exe', try to download Tears 6.2 and don't
> forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that
> application works as designed, Husband 1.0
> should then automatically run the applications
> Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember,
> overuse of the above application can cause
> Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,
> Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very
> bad program that will download the Snoring
> Loudly Beta.
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law
> 1.0 It runs a virus in the background that
> will eventually seize control of all your system
> resources. Also, do not attempt to reinstall
> the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and
> will crash Husband 1.0
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but
> it does have limited memory and cannot learn new
> applications quickly. You might consider
> buying additional software to improve memory and
> performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
>
> Good Luck, Tech Support