I am sorry you are so upset and sad.
I wish I knew the answer to your questions, too. I lost my dad to cancer 4 months ago.
I feel alot like you. My dad and I were always super close. But I miss him so much and I really need him.
I am also a Christian, but I am finding it very hard to find any comfort in God right now. People say you grow closer to Him, but I am not finding that true at all. I hate to even go to church now. I end up sitting in the bathroom crying every Sunday.
I just tried to go to a Christian grief counseling group, but I quit, it was too hard.
My dad died on a Tues day, so I do really bad on Tuesdays. I still lay in bed and cry every day. Or if I'm out and someone asks me or something reminds me of him.
I guess we can just both pray that someday we feel some peace.
I know he has peace and is in Heaven and not suffering, but I'm still miserable here without him.
I keep begging Jesus to come back for us NOW, but so far he hasn't.
I'll keep you lifted up in prayer!
