I am really sorry that you feel people hate you - maybe I am too gullable as well and maybe I missed something, not sure, but regardless, you feel the way you feel and I hope that it doesn't last too long.
Accidents do happen, we all know that. If it wasn't for YT, I wouldn't believe some of the accidents that I have read here over the past 3 years (some so freaky and I do mean freaky, it's almost really hard to imagine that it did happen

).
Please don't beat yourself up or your family. You are doing everything you possibly can do to protect and raise your babies.
When TJ and Roxy were little, I broke my own rule: Never carry both down the stairs at once. Well, I did and I slipped - THANK GOD I was able to stay on my back to whole time and I kept them on my chest - So NO HARM was done to them - I on the other hand was HURTING for 2 weeks
Cheer Up