Quote:
Originally Posted by baileysmom31  Hi Everyone
I haven't been posting or even around for the last few months. We went on a great vacation this summer to LA and Vegas. When we got back, my sons (14 year old twins) got settled into school. Early in September, one of them disclosed that they had been sexually assaulted on and off for 2 years by a friends son who wasn't much older. Its been a rough go for all of us. First off, this is a friends son who had many sleep overs at our place and I let our son's have sleep overs at their place. I never thought my child would be in danger! I knew the Mom very well and I thought everything would be okay. I spoke with a social worker and he said "isn't it funny that we would never allow children of the opposite sex to sleep together in the same room but we don't think twice about the same sex children sleeping in the same room with opposite." Wow, this really opened my eyes.
As the months have gone on, we have been able to get him help and I think he is able to put this whole experience into perspective. My hubby and I are still working on the guilt feelings and the questions of why he didn't tell us about it sooner. We always thought we had a great relationship and that our Kids could tell us anything. Boy, were we wrong. When I asked my son why he wdidn't tell us he said that he was ashamed! It broke my heart!!!
I now think it is so important to share with other Moms about our experience and even if you know the family and know the kids, be really careful about kids sleeping over at other peoples houses. I have always been a diligent parent and I have learnt my lesson the hard way... and worst of all, so did my Son.
God Bless
Leslie |
My heart goes out to you and your family. I am sure he did not tell you because he thought it was his fault, that he had done something to make this happen to him, and shame/guilt he carried within himself. At the time this so called friend may have said something to him in a threatening way if he was to speak about it.
It is awful to be a victim of such horrific acts inflicted on a person. Subsequently he lost a lot of his trust while this was happening.
When you lose trust in a person (his friend), it makes it tough for awhile to trust even your family that is so very close to you. Will I be believed is the number one reason usually. I am sure he questioned himself on this. No one will believe I did nothing to cause this to happen to me.
It is very good you have been seeking help. You cannot blame yourself or feel guilty. (Easier said then done) I know this.
The best thing that happened is he did talk to you. Some never tell their parents and have to deal with this later in life.. Much harder then.
I hope this helps.. and I also hope something was done about this friend, for I would bet you son was not the first an if so will not be the last.
I worked with male sexual offenders... grrrrrrrrrrrrr it was a tough job at times..
pooh's mum