[LuvnmyYorkie]

I know you don't know me, but I read what has been going on. I have been through something kinda the same. To make a long story short, my youth pastor is in prison for 13 years for statutory rape (among other sexual crimes) for what he did to me and a friend of mine in high school. I was where you are, not too long ago. I am 22 now, and I can say that it has made me the strogest person I never could have been, if not for what happened. I testified as well, with him and his family (who I was very close with) sitting right in front of me as I had to describe in detail every touch, word and action he ever made. I was 17 when everything happen, 19 when I testified and 21 when he was convicted. The whole thing lasted 4 years and now he is appealing. These things last forever, they never seem to go away.

But...

Keep going. You have to. You have to keep telling yourself that you can't let him win. My boyfriend (of 3 years now) told me before he was finally sentenced that I can't keep dwelling on what happened. He told me to get over it and move on. Harsh yes, but it was the best advice anyone has given me through all this. I was finally able to let go and move on.

During the sentencing trial, I had to speak to the judge and give a victim-impact statement (something I'm sure you know of). And that was my chance to let him know how much he had taken from me... and after that, I turned my back, walked away and decided that he would NOT rule my life anymore! He did for years. I had known him since I was 12 years old and now I can see how he was setting me up to take advantage of me the whole time. I will not let him have 1 more second of my life.

You will find your moment when you can do this. I'm not saying that it goes away. I still have my issues in my own way, but thats when I stop, and tell myself that he doesn't get to ruin my life anymore. And I keep going...

You can too, jsut hang in there, it does get better.