[Txgurl06]

i am going through almost the same thing right now. I am not thinking about another guy but i am having problems with my bf(now ex bf as of a couple of days). but our problems are similar to yours.

I think I was my bfs first true love and he was the first guy I really loved and considered marrying in the long run. We do have many things in common but many things that we totally disagree on. His family is a huge part in why we fight too. They are really old school and think the men run the relationship. Like a women is not to talk back and she is to serve the man. At first he didnt think like this and he was soo sweet and didnt care what his family thought but after so much pressure from his mom and (hes a mommas boy) he seems like hes trying to please both of us. I cant live my life not being able to stick up for myself and having a man treat me the way he wants to. (He wanted to go to cooking school so bad but he would have to move to a bigger city and his mom didnt want him to so he went to school for computer science and he figured out that he didnt like it so now hes not in school)

while he was in school i took care of him for almost 2 yrs. His family didnt do anything for him. I supported him. but it seemed like i would never come first no matter what i did. We have been off and on for 3 years.

I think since i was his first love he doesnt know how to handle situations like everytime we would argue he would break up with me and breaking up is a lot to go through. I also had jealousy issues because since i was his first love i felt like he still wasnt sure if he wanted to be with me since he never experienced being with anyone else. He also wanted to go clubbing and i never could go that eventually stopped. Some nights i couldnt find him. that eventually stopped. But for me i felt like there was a lot of mental abuse towards me.

Plus my cousin is married to his brother and Im always compared to her since she is my family. Its super annoying.

I cant say i wouldnt get back with him and i know im dumb. But im not sure unless there was a major change that getting back with him would be what i really wanted. I do think about it everyday that i wasnt sure no matter how much i loved him.

we recently broke up for a couple of weeks because he said he needed time to decide what he wanted and he came crawling back begging me to get back with him which he said he would never do. I kind of liked being single during that time. I didnt have to ask to do anything and didnt get yelled at about what i spent my money on. He swore to me that this time would be different and that he was sorry for how he treated me. He started taking me to dinner and going to watch movies (which we never did by ourselves) that changed afterwards. I think it has to do with I told him during our breakup i went to a sports place with a guy and his friend. The guys said he just wanted me to go and hang out and meet new people. We were just friends. He asked me out a couple of times during that and i always said no because i still loved my ex BF.
When me and my BF got back together i told him about me going out with friends and he said it was a date. I knew he would never forget it.


We have been through way worse stuff but i think there are things about each other that we will never forget and that was one of them. But what can i do at least i told him. anyways lol im done. sorry i dunno if i gave any advice. but even if i dont follow this you should just be single and have fun.
I do stay with my boyfriend because i want him apart of my life somehow and i dont want to be alone.