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Originally Posted by pepe mint  i agree. but someone also told me this:
her father and I did not work out. If my husband and I do not work out, she will see a pattern. In her eyes, it could look like Mommy cannot hold a relationship. she cannot make it work. she is not capable of working things out...but runs away instead.
so i think about that. and i have to wonder if this person is right. is it worse that i stay in a relationship where i do not love him, or is it worse on her if she see's me giving up all the time? if i lead by example...which example is the least destructive? |
You're a great mom-you truly are. The fact that you think about how it will affect your daughter before how it will affect the rest of your life shows how much you love her and want her to grow up in a healthy, loving, stable family. However, you can still be a wonderful mom, even if you choose to end your relationship. I can't tell you one way or the other on this one, but I can tell you that if you are unhappy, you can't hide that from a child, especially your child (she's a very perceptive, bright kid, from what I've heard you say about her!
) With that in mind, you need to make the best choice for the both of you-whether that is staying or leaving the relationship you're in. Your daughter has a lot of growing and learning to do, and she deserves the best enviornment in which to do those things.
I also think that you should seek counseling. As someone else mentioned, try one on one counseling so that you can get your own feelings and thoughts out, and then couples counseling after you get you get some things with yourself figured out, or at least out in the open. You could also do both simultaneously. Sometimes it really helps to have a non-biased third party to help mediate the conflicts, and to see both sides of the story. It's a lot easier to listen to someone whose job is to help you both in a neutral, relaxed enviornment than it is to truly listen to each other when you're at home and conflicts are heated and emotions are running high.