[pepe mint]

i'm having an "email" conversation with my best friend. she is out of town and neither of us can talk about this on the phone right now...so email is the chosen method for now, i guess.

anyway...she has confided in me that she does not like the person i have become since i got married. many of you know the problems i have had with DH and she is here to see it all first hand. she thinks i have changed a lot...not for the better...and it is because of him. she thinks that i have become very negative, unhappy, and that she misses the "old mandee".

i don't know what to do. honestly, i hate who i have become too. but i dont' know what to do about it.

i have said i was going to leave him..but when it comes down to actually doing it, it is very hard. i just dont' know how. and i don't know if i should. i don't want to make a mistake.

but i don't want to lose my best friend either. i'm just so torn. i am not happy. i haven't been truly happy in a very long time.

but i don't know what i am supposed to do about it.