[drawlins27]

I've been through exactly the same thing except I'm 32 and we were together for 11 years. And I had the exact same trust issues, it's normal to feel this way.

However, it's been 2 years. You need some closure or you will never be able to move on. You need to ask yourself why you haven't removed him from your life yet and deal with those issues. Write this down "Why do I allow him to still be a part of my life?" Think about it for a while and then jot down some answers. You'll be surprised at what comes out.

I think the letter to him is a great idea! Here's my suggestion, write the letter but don't send it just yet. Get all of your feelings out on paper and tell him just what he did to you and exactly how you feel. Be honest with your feelings. Put the letter away for at least two weeks and then reread it and decide whether or not you still want to send it. Odds are that just writing everything down will help you to deal with the emotions you have been feeling all this time and have kept bottled up. Only after you've acknowledged those feelings will you be strong enough to move on to your new life and leave him behind!