Oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear what your going through! The problem seems to definitely be with your husband. She is completely playing off the situation and knows she can get away with it so why on earth would she change her bahavior. Kids are the worlds best manipulators and it starts when they're babies. Your husband has got to back you up, you've got to be a united team, especially when dealing with a teenager. He's completely undermining you and disrespecting you by taking her side (especially in front of her). It's one thing to disagree with you, pull you aside, talk to you about it and the two of you come up with a solution but if I understand correctly he's taking her side and sticking up for her in front of her. If this doesn't change the problem will just get worse as she gets older. If you take away privileges does he give them back to her? I wonder how your husband would feel if he told her she could or couldn't do something and you turned right around in front of both of them and told her the opposite? Have you tried turning the tables to see if this might possibly make an impact on him? Maybe if you were to be able to make him see how if feels to be in your shoes he might change his behavior. Not only is this completely unfair to you but he's also doing such a disservice to your daughter, he teaching her it's ok to disrespect you. I'm so so sorry you're in this situation, it's a tough one
