I think your bigger problem might be your hubby's reaction. Perhaps 1-3 sessions with a counselor would help. Have you asked him why he is undermining you? And why he chooses to do it in front of her?
His behavior is propping her up, and she is probably eating up the attn on some level.
For you, stay consistent with her. Sometimes Less Is More - let her go without for awhile - whether that's curbing your spending for her, or taking away her belongings. Also, make time to spend one-on-one time with her - make sure she knows who you are. Take opportunities to build her respect for who you are as a parent, a woman.
My daughter seldom had problems with this - but it was just the 2 of us - now off in college she is trying to assert her independence & is sometimes short with me. They have to go thru some of this - testing, and rebelling a bit, I believe to grow into adults - we don't want them to be wimps either. The one thing I found that worked when my daughter misbehaved was to write out Bible verses that lent themselves to her behavior - the Bible has a lot to say about the mouth & respect for elders and parents!! I would have her write the verses out, then write out in her own words what they mean. Then we would discuss what she wrote & pray together.
Also, I highly recommend prayer. Turn this over to God. If you've never read Stormie Omartin's book "The Power of a Praying Parent" I highly recommend getting a copy of this.
You do want to nip this in the bud - because this is one behavior that really tends to grow for years - maturity is the only next best answer. |