It amazes me going through and reading all the posts here about eating disorders.. And knowing that I am not alone in this. I too have been through the whole rollercoaster of body image issues. I went through it big time in high school. I looked at all the girls that were tall and stick thin and wanted to be like them because they had all the football players hanging on them and caught the eye of every cute guy. I starved myself for awhile and then I went through the stage of binge eating and throwing up. I was in all the sports in school. I was very into competition sports. Ran cross country and track. Made it to state my junior year, I blew out my knee 3 feet from the finish line and I was in the lead. Doctors told me the reason that I had suffered like that was because my body wasn't getting all the nutrition that it needed.
My dad put me in therapy to get over my body issues and it did work to a certain point. I started eating right. I found out some things about myself in therapy that I never would have known otherwise. My mom had just left my dad and us kids (myself and 3 brothers) and wanted nothing to do with us. She was heavy and I wanted to be nothing like her so what my therapist thought is that that is where all my issues began. I was mad at the world at that time and took it out on myself just because I didn't want to be anything like my mom.
To this day I am very very picky about my body. I still dont like to look at my body in the mirror for too long because I find way to many flaws. It took until about 2 years ago for me to even buy a full length mirror for in my house, and I am almost 30.
I work out like crazy now. But I eat right and I am very very careful about taking care of myself. I am 5'2" and 107 lbs. I think whatever issues you have with your body you may always have. But you have to take care of yourself at the same time you are trying to make yourself happy.
I am sorry for all of those who have had to battle with being rideculed (SP) for thier wieght. Media does play a big part in it. We are all beautiful people and that is what we have to remember. |