[SugarMama]

I didn't want to steal Graylene's thread about the biting incident so I'm starting a new one.

I taught my kids to be nice to everyone, always share, follow the rules, etc...everything we want others to do to us...well, now she's being bullied at school because the kids know they can pick on her and there won't be any consequences because she won't be mean back to them. I'm to the point now that I'm going to have to call her teacher to have her keep a close eye on things and see if she can give me any suggestions. Also, Abby wants to be everybody's friend and she doesn't want anyone to be left out so she tries to play with everyone. This backfires because after a few weeks of school all of the kids have paired up w/ one other kid and Abby's left w/out anyone to play with. It happens everywhere, school, gymnastics, soccer, the neighborhood...it's so upsetting. Abby just forgives everyone and smiles at them, then on the way home she cries because she had the "worst day of her life and no one will play with her or someone called her a name or hit her or bit her (yes, a 7 yr old bit her at gymnastics!)". If I had to do it over again I don't know if I would ask her to be so compassionate and caring...yes, I would...I just wish there was a way to make her understand that these kids are in the wrong and that she's right to be nice. My younger daughter is learning how to not get picked on and I'm having to work w/ her because she stands up for herself too much sometimes. I try to explain to Abby, my oldest (7), that she can't let them get to her. She can't give them her "power" by letting their comments hurt her. She knows she's not a loser (church sponsered soccer team!) and she should just ignore those people who call her names. I've given her permission to NOT be friends w/ people who are mean to her. Even when they're mean to her she thinks she still has to try to be friends with them. She's actually on anxiety med. now because in Kindergarten she started having such bad seperation anxiety. Her pediatrician said that it was most likely from bullying and that kids w/ personalities like Abby are usually the targets of bullies because they won't fight back.

I'm trying to find a bible study for young kids that addresses some of these issues.

Her gma (my MIL) took her to her soccer practice last wk because my other daughter was sick. My MIL overheard Abby's "friend" call her a loser & some other names. Well, when they got home Abby told me that Gma told her to tell the little girl that she was a bigger loser...Abby knew we don't treat people that way so she didn't do it. I told her, no, but don't listen to her and don't talk to her anymore. Just ignore her and in your mind you can say, "Haley's a poopy-head". I explained she can't say it out loud, but she can think it. I don't even like that, but I thought that since that's a forbidden expression in our house that it might make her laugh and break some of the tension. I'm about ready to tell her to just let someone have it so that they'll leave her alone. I don't know what to do and I'm worried sick about her every day. Right now she still loves school but I'm not sure why. She hangs out w/ the recess aid for most of the recess because she relates better to adults (because they aren't mean to her) and she's a pretty mature little 7 yr old. She needs to be playing and making friends though. I just don't know what to do anymore. Any suggestions? Sorry for the extra long post. Thanks!