I am sorry about your loss of Nikki. I totally understand what you are feeling about getting your new puppy. My Yorkie Zack died in May (also at a very young age - a little less than 2) and I was devastated. Initially, I could not even think about getting a new puppy, but over time I really wanted one. For reasons not worht getting into, we decided against another Yorkie and got a yellow lab. Although I love her, I still miss Zack tremendously. I feel guilty at times for getting a new puppy, but Zack was alaways such a happy puppy, I am sure he would not be upset at me. When I take Yoyo for walks, I always tell her about her big brother Zack and how much she would have loved to play wiht him. And, I still tlak to Zack about his new sister Yoyo, and how much I miss him.
So, I have not gotten over the guilt of betrayal you mention, but as time passes, it gets a little bit less. Nikki would want you to be happy. Just remember that. At least that is how I deal with these feelings of guilt.
-Allan |