Hello again,
I don't think I'm doing very well. After I got home from work I read your posts and I thought I was doing really well. I thought, I can do this. With all this kindness and support I'll be fine. Then my friends took me to the fair to keep my busy. We were running around enjoying the sights. They wanted me to eat more than I did but I thought I did okay. Towards the end of the evening though I guess I just got worn out or it all came back to me. Try not to laugh but I saw what is called a Lionhead rabbit and thought it looked like Mouse. I tried to make light of it and moved on. Then I saw this ride called Crazy Mouse and I thought okay what is going on here. I have never seen this ride before? Why are things reminding me?! I used to call Mouse that when she would get the "zoomies" running through the house! I grabbed my boyfriend's hand and pointed to the ride and said it reminded me of Mouse. I got a little teary eyed but I did not cry and I smiled. He looked at me and got really upset. He told me that enough was enough. I needed to move on and I was making too much of this. He said I was looking for ways to hold on. I thought I was just trying to remember the good times. It's only been a few days. Am I over reacting? Is this not normal behavior?
My girl friend who was with us told me not to hold it in and just cry when I felt like it. She said he was just upset because he felt responsible and was dealing with it in another way - by trying not to think about it at all. She said it was good to grieve. She said it took her a full 6 months before she could move on after the loss of her dog. I hope it doesn't take me that long.
I like the idea of the forum because it gives me an outlet for my grief. However, I don't want to bring everyone down. I just need to talk. I am truly trying to get over this but it's only been 5 days.
Mouse's Mommy
