Gloria, I know this is tough but I think you are doing the absolute right thing!
When we put Scruffy down in 1997 (at 11.5 years, dying of cancer) I DID NOT WANT ANOTHER DOG -- EVER. I'd had several pets die, but never had to be the one to make that decision before. The pain was unbearable.
The next night, when I came home from work, it only got worse. No greeting at the door. No barking and squeaky toy fit. No one trying to play or jockeying to get the better position on the couch.
My mother took it even harder than I did because Scruff really did love her more. By the end of the first week, she had already found a breeder.
I didn't even want to go. She twisted my arm and said we were just going to "look" at puppies. But then there was Ozzie -- and I knew there was no way we were leaving there without him.
Ozzie chose ME that day and he has been my best little buddy ever since. I dont know how I will cope when his day comes. It may take a pair of Yorkies to help fill the hole because I know it will be like having my heart removed with a dull spoon.
Ozzie is not Scruffy. (and in many ways, that's a GOOD thing!
) Another dog would never be Ozzie. All they can do is help you heal, give you somewhere to put all that love you have with nowhere to go. And soon, you will love them just for being them.
Lots of hugs as you start to look for a new furry friend to love.