[Judy in Waco]

Originally Posted by DesertChildAZ

Maybe you can start off by separating them and then slowly putting them together for gradually more time (in your company of course). Start by allowing them to interact for 15 minutes with you in the room. Then separate them. Then do it for 30 minutes the next time. If there is any growling, reprimand the instigator and separate them. Here's what I try to remember...if Johnny jumps on Tahoe and Tahoe growls, I don't reprimand Tahoe. He's just trying to show the puppy that what he's doing is wrong. So, I reprimand the puppy for jumping on Tahoe. I pet Tahoe and say "It's okay, you tell him, Tahoe." Then I push the puppy away. Why do I do this when it seems like Tahoe is the guilty one? Because the puppy will never understand that he can't jump all over Tahoe (just like he can't jump all over guests) unless I reprimand him for it. Tahoe has his own personal boundaries just like people do and I'm not going to reprimand him for setting his. They aren't unreasonable boundaries. He doesn't growl at the puppy UNLESS the puppy is overwearing his welcome...jumping on him, biting Tahoe's ears, trying to nurse from Tahoe wee wee...which he did when he first arrived. So I try to allow him to let the puppy know his boundaries.

You can also reward Sugar if, at the end of the 30 minutes they haven't fought...give Sugar a treat (and give the puppy a treat sitting right beside Sugar) and return Sugar to the other side of the gate until it's time to reacquaint them again. Now, if they fight, I say "no treat" and put the puppy/Sugar on the other side of the gate WITHOUT a treat.

That said, I would keep them on two sides of a baby gate while you are not home or not present...at least until they get along and until the puppy has grown quite a bit. After 3 months, I was able to draw the conclusion that they could live together once I saw Cash lay down next to Tahoe and Tahoe didn't growl at him.

Also, not sure how long you have had the puppy (weeks?)...but Tahoe was sad and depressed about the puppy for a good two months before he started to turn around. If it hasn't been 2-3 months, then I would give them time. Sugar is used to having free reign of the home and full attention and likely to be a little miffed about losing these freedoms and it's not unusual for him to take it out on the puppy.

We have had Gizmo (puppy) for about three weeks....so it's not much time at all. Part of our issue is that in the past we've only had one dog at a time. I think WE need to be trained rather than Sugar and Gizmo, so I will contact the head of the rescue where we found Sugar and see if she can recommend a trainer/behaviorist.

If there weren't such a weight difference, I would have NO problem letting them work out their differences, but...

Thanks everyone! You've given me a lot to think about.

Funny thing?...Gizmo is still trying to play with Sugar and doesn't seem afraid of her at all. His heartrate goes up when he sees her, but that could be that my fear is being communicated through him, or it could be he's just excited to see Sugar!

This is breaking my heart. I appreciate your help and support.