I'm really sorry that you have to go through his! And here comes the wits and wisdom of somebody which is in her 4th marriage
(twice divorced, widowed once, now happily ever after...
) and I dare to claim to know a little about relationships and especially why they so often don't work.
Well.... there is a key word for the success: COMMUNICATION!!!!! Very often we just
assume that our partner knows what we think or feel, but unless he is psychic he really DOESN'T!!!! We don't do either, so ask him directly what he wants and be very specific. Not just "what do you want from life" but "do you like scrambled eggs in the morning?" "do you like to have kids one day?", "where do see yourself next year in May?", "how much money do you make and how are we going to make ends meet?", "what do expect me to do when you come home?", etc... you get the picture.
There is another key and that's very hard to do sometimes. My dad used to call it: "Be pretty and shut up!" or how Dr. Phil likes to put it: "do you wanna be right or married?" In the heat of the moment we tend to react emotionally rather than logically and we tend to hurt the others feelings b/c we are hurt too. Well... that's a very dangerous thing to do b/c a word spoken can't be taken back.
I would like to give you a big hug and a hint... try to learn a little more about relationships, there are plenty of helpful books out there. You don't have to "invent the wheel" again...
For almost everything you need classes and a licence but in the most important part of our lifes we tend to just tapp around like a blind chicken. It's true, "a blind pig finds an acorn once in a while" but you also have to "kiss a lot of frogs" until you find your prince.
Pheeewwww... I hope I didn't bore you to death...