[AMD]

The Idiot Report........

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill
the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign

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Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems
the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught
on videotape.
Yep, Here's your sign

(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)

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IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out
here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS

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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg. He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City!

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which
I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled
knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street I was
crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I
knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when
the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people
doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the
company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun
We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just
looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not
turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car
we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's
side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton, Mississippi!