Mom's appointment with the oncologist was at 1:00 yesterday. We didn't find much out from him yet, only that we're at a very critical point with her cancer. He wants her to have a colonoscopy and a stomach deal and I just talked to the doctor and she we have to have her to the hospitla between 6 and 7 Monday morning. I can't see her going through all of that. She has gotten so weak and it took so much out of her yesterday, as we didn't get home til 6:00 because after the oncologist we had to take her to the hospital to have more fluid drained and this time they took 2 1/2 liters. We had such a time getting her into the house because she was so all-in and tired from all that had happened. Judy and I both stayed with her last night. Then at 1 when she needed to get up, I thought it was so cold in the house. At 6 when we got up, it was freezing in the house. The furnace had quit and it was down to 52 in the house. We got a guy over there by about 6:30 and he fixed it. My gosh...I'm so glad I bought mom a heated throw the other day because we put that on Mom to keep her warm. It is frigid cold outside and the house was cooling down fast. Next weekend is supposed to be -30 to -40 and I hope and pray that doesn't happen.
I don't know how mom will get through these tests. She is so weak and so sick. When we got home last night and got mom in her chair, she was hurting so bad. Normally she doesn't tell us how bad she's hurting, but she couldn't help letting out moans from the pain. I went into a bedroom to cry and Judy came in and told me she thinks this is worse than what we were hoping and she told me I have to prepare for what might be. I don't want my mom to suffer, but I don't want to lose her. I left for a while with Maddie and just drove around and cried. Then when I got back, walking up Mom's driveway, I slipped on ice and fell. Mostly on my knee that is already messed up. It took the dye out of me jeans...that knee now has a white spot. Maddie was okay though because I was holding her and didn't let her get hurt.
My sister in law came this morn and so I came home just for a short time and will go back. Got mom dressed and everything done, so hopefully I'll get back before she needs to use the bathroom again. We'll send my SIL home before dark, as Sunday when they were here, they hit a deer on their way home. My brother is also recuping from surgery a couple of weeks ago for Meniere's disease where they actually cut out a piece of his skull and went down into his brain. He is taking all of this so hard.
My heart is breaking so. Then last night my cousin's wife from New Orleans called and she wanted to pray with us, so I put the phone on speaker phone and she prayed...I think for 5 minutes...and I felt so much better after that.
Thanks to everyone here who has been such support and so many are asking if there is anything you can do. You've all been doing the best thing at a time like this and that is praying and words cannot express my gratitude to all of you for that! I love you all! Thank you so much! I wish I had tome to reply to each of you because each and every message means so much! Just don't have the time to do that, but know how much I appreicate your thoughts! |