[xnatalie]

Originally Posted by YorkieShadow

I didnt sleep at all last night. Thoughts of Gwen was with me all night long. Hubby came in and I told him all about YT railroad train and what all of you were doing for Gwen and me. I dont want you all to think My hubby's a meanie, because hes not hes the most sweetest caring person and imso Lucky to have him. Any ways he started asking me if I was sure I could be there 100% for Gwen, He said he knows she needs a good Loving home and we do have that, Me may not have a lot of money but Love we do have, and we love all animals. He said With me watching my Grandbaby 12 days and tending to Mickey and Minnie and a new baby on the way. That he thought I was putting to much on my plate.Ive lost 15 lbs and my back and arm is very bad and wanted me to really think about what I was doing, because If I couldnt be there for Gwen 100% then I shouldnt take her.and if this little girl needed medical care could we aford it? and what if Mickey and Minnie didnt want to share their mommy and we would have to once again rehome Gwen, He said for me to think about all that, He said to tell you how I feel Is I too would love to give her a home our home. But are you willing to put her thru it all again if it dont work out, and He said I doubt very much that Mickey and Minnie will be happy about her because their so jealous if anyone even gets by you. I cryed Happy tears last night and Sad tears today. I knew he was right so I called Suzanne and canceled the whole thing, then got on here trying to see if someone else wanted this little girl and trying to find Chachi phone number and all. I cryed and Hubby said if its going to hurt you that much then call her back and take her, He said he would help with what he could, So I called Suzanne back. then I really had to clear my head and think what is best for Gwen, Hubby was right..... So I talked to Suzanne again and I feel so bad for her She was crying and its all upset her bad, Its my fault. I know that. And all she asked was for me to say a prayer for her Little Gwen to find a good loving home, Neither of us could talk much after that so we hung up. I do know hubby would do any thing for me and is for anything that makes me Happy, and I know hes so right where would I find the time.and how could he help he works so many hrs now. I wish he would of been home last night so we could of talked before I posted the Railroad Help. Im sorry I let everyone here down, I really didnt mean too. I feel so bad and dont know if I can even show my face around here again. But I knew I had to come on and explain to all of you who put so much time and Prayers in on this whole Thing. and Most of all I want to say Im so sorry Gwen, I feel so bad. I never got to see you but I love you so much. I hope you all can forgive me.

im SO sorry it didnt work out for you