[yougetthesmiles]

Alot of you know how I'm dealing with Anxiety Attacks. I have been seeing a counsler and my doctor put me on Paxil but that crap was making me think weird, so he took me off of it and now I'm on Lexapro. I have been on it for about 2 weeks now and not had one attack thank god!

I have only told my husband, close family, counsler and my doctor this. But I think I know why I have these attacks and I really need your guys opinions on this cause it's driving me crazy.

When I was 11 years old, my girlfriend and I was baby sitting and after the kids were in bed, we were playing with a Ouija Board. And stupid me asked it when I was going to die. I swear the thing moved, both my friend and I were freaked out, but it told me 34. This has stuck with me since then. I'm 32 now and I think this is why I'm dealing with anxiety. I dont know what to do, I have such a fear of death, not really of me dying, cause I believe there is something better on the otherside, but my fear is leaving my husband and children. My husband and I have such a strong and loving bond, and I cant even imagine him being with another woman when I die. I hate the thought of my children having to go back to there real dad. So I think I have all this pinned up frustration and I dont know how to deal with it.

When I told my counsler this, she kinda skipped over it and did not address the issue. They are very christian people there, so I dont know if that is why she skipped over this.

I just dont know what to do or how to deal with it, but it's driving me crazy.