Hello All
Thank you again for your continued support and prayers. We really really need them.
Chuey is about the same as when I brought him home last night. Standing up very little and falling over a lot. He doesn't want to walk very much but he is very alert and plays with his toys laying down on the floor or on my lap. And of course, Chu is not missing any meals. Not drinking water, but I wet his food a lot. I am happy chuey had an ok day.
I however, did not. I broke down so many times today; crying like a baby! I feel so horrible about this whole situation. I am exhausted. I sleep on the couch every night cuz chu is more comfortable down here. I wake up several times to check on him and cannot go back to sleep. I feel that even though this is not directly my fault, it is my fault.
I feel bad for buying him. Maybe he was better off with that ditz, at least she didn't give him any vaccines and get him sick. Then I should've known the day the dr said anatomical abnormalities he was full of it, instead of waiting 3 days before I took him to the ER. But when he went to the ER, he was FINE with his motor abilities. It was just his lungs and congestion. But now, he is so far from being ok. I have just been kicking myself in the rear the whole day.
And after my pitty party is over, I think what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do if dr says quality of life is bad, he should be pts? Or what if he's gonna be handicapped like this for the rest of his life and I cannot care for him properly? I know I will have to give him up to someone who can care for him IF this happens. I accept this and will do my best.
One things for sure, I am gonna keep trying my hardest till dr says no hope and the next dr says no hope, and the next one too! Then, I will wait for a sign from God, and say ok, I get it. Whatever the case, I have committed to Chuey since they day I brought him home and I am going to make sure he gets the best while he is with me. I've gotten so many signs, you wouldn't believe it. That's another long post I will make you read later! Thank you for letting me vent, it really means a lot.
Have a great night,
Raquel-I love my baby so much.....