[USMARINEWIFE]

My mom sent these to me. Their bumper sticker sayings. Some of them are HILARIOUS!

>Don't laugh, your daughter could be in here.
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>WARNING: Driver only carries $20.00 worth of ammunition.
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>Sex is like air, it's only bad when your not getting any.
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>Constipated people don't give a sh*t.
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>Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
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>If that phone was up your a$$, maybe you could drive a little better.
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>My kid got your honor roll student pregnant.
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>To all you virgins thanks for nothing.
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>If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek counseling.
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>Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".
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>If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
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>Horn broken...watch for finger.
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>It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.
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>If your not a hemorrhoid, get off my a$$.
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>I'm out of bed and dressed....What more do you want.
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>I don't have an attitude problem...You have a perception problem.
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>One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.
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>FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.
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>I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in terror
>like the passengers in his car.
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>I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.
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>Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names.
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>What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
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>If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
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>Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!
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>I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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>Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
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>I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!
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