I lost a baby once. She was about 12 wks old. I lost soooo much sleep for months. I felt so guilty. I would wake up at all times of the night and have to get up and go to another room and cry and pace the floor just thinking about her. One night I was praying for a sign that she was OK and still loving me. Well not long after that prayer, Pixie (one of my other yorkies) woke up and came to me and started kissing me all over my face, just like Barbie use to do. (Note: this was so out of character for Pixie to wake up in the middle of the night, and to come to me instead of her favorite person in the world... my husband.) And she was wiggling her little body so she could shake her tail harder. Just like Barbie use to do in the middle of the night. And then Pixie just went back to sleep. I knew then that Barbie was OK and she would always be with me. I still lost sleep and stilled cried for her, but the guilt was gone. And over time the pain lessens. Just know that tears are a gift from God. They help with the healing process. Just work through the grief and you'll come out the other side just fine. I'll be praying for you. |