[candybaby]

Originally Posted by JESSY_RN2B

Kristi, it's time to move on in life........you can't continue to live in the past. I myself have walked a mile and a half in your shoes. I was severely abused as a child, neglected by my birth mother, molested by her boyfriend, and then placed in foster care where I jumped from home to home. The abuse continued in a foster home where I lived because I was not their child. I always lived under poverty level (in a camper) and in miserable conditions. I turned to food to comfort me and ballooned up to 303 lbs

I 'hated' life and everyone (especially my mom). I was living hell on earth until someone gave me this same advice. I decided to take it and look at where I am now. I learned to love MYSELF before I could love anyone else (including my mother). I decided to follow the path of right and brake the chains that had me tied. (even 173lbs came off and have been off due to my change).

I have always been 'wise beyond my years' (just turned 25). Held a full-time job @ 16 while attending HS and graduating. Now, I found a wonderful man whom I married, am about to graduate as a registered nurse, and life is good (I thank the man up above). My brother chose the route of drugs and is sitting in jail for attempted murder

My mother is older now, very ill and living a life of repentance. She knows she failed me as a mother and friend and lives in the past feeling guilty.

I forgave her truly from my heart (as I cannot hold a grudge). She is my mother and I LOVE her. It hurts me so much that she is living like this. I try to help her and refuse to mention the past. She knows I forgave her a long time ago (I want her to die in peace) and know that the day I forgave her I was REBORN. Now, I have a relationship with her regardless. This makes me the person I am today, and the kind of person I want my future children to be.

Anyhow, I just want you to know you are NOT the only one. I just touched the tip of the iceberg and have left out many painful details.

Please forgive and forget. Everyone who has ever wronged you shall pay for it............but it is not up to you.........and you should NOT continue to suffer because of this. Until you change this..........you are a living DEAD hon.

Please take this like honest advice from me to you. I don't judge you, but I do feel you need to change this ASAP. If anything, you'll remember this post someday when you rejoice in internal satisfaction........what you will feel when you let this go.

My heart goes out to you, but YOU hold the key to change this.

So well said