I'm sorry for your horrible childhood. I'm sure that a good portion of us had a less-than-wonderful one too, myself included. I decided long ago that to continue giving "those people" any mental energy or emotion was to allow them to continue to abuse and neglect me. I have had no therapy, though frankly I could probably use it. Making sure my children know that they are loved and valued IS my therapy, and it's what keeps me from dwelling in the past hurts.
If you feel that it's necessary to confront your "mother" and "father", then doing it in writing may be your best bet. That way, you can "say" what you want without interruption or getting too upset or angry to get it all out. Write them long letters, take a few days to do it so you get everything on them that you want to say. Then print them out and re-read. Mail them if you want, but I find that just the act of typing it all out and then printing it, then ripping it up, is very cathartic for me
I've written many letters that no one saw but me
My point is, it's up to YOU now. Yes, they were bad to you and yes, you deserved better. It's up to you to make your life better and it sounds like you'd be better off without those toxic people in it.
HUGS!!
