i have a very messed up family i guess. I am wanting to reslove some things with 2 ppl in particular but im like a kid to be honest and HATE confrontation. my dad that i thought was my real dad actually isnt....i found this out about a year ago after my step brother told my HUBBY at my grandpas funeral. Jeff told me. i now realize that maybe thats the reason why i had been treated the way i was but i dont know. My real dad is dead i guess. Died from Cancer about 2 yrs ago. and than my "dad" only comes around when something is needed for him. He makes me feel guilty and I always run down and take care of him. He was back from his job for 2 WEEKS and i didnt call or go down and i was trying to see how long it would take him to call me....2 days before he left for another year..he called and said better come down today or sat as im leaving sunday and thats it...no coming in here, no saying hi to my kids...nothing so i DIDNT..i didnt go running down there,, he really hurt my feelings. mind you i HAVE NOT told him that i know about him adopting me. so he didnt call on Christmas, hasnt called atall. SHould I make the first move or see how long it takes him?
second question:
my mother.. i use the term very loosly, LEFT me when i was 7.. i went to "dads" for the weekend come home and she was gone. no bye, hugs nothing. i couldnt find her for years. after 22years my grandfather passed away and jeff and I went up there for the funeral in wisconsin...first words out of her mouth was "airlines lost my baggage". no hello, no how you been, nothing and i was just mortified that she had no remorse at all for what she did. nothing! I stayed away from her knowing that if i didnt i would probably beat the holy crap out of here and considering the circamstances and respect i have for my grandmother i didnt say anything. I have alot of issues in my life and my husband seems to think i need to talk to the ppl in person and tell them exactly how i feel... i personally dont think itll do much good considering ill still feel like crap.
alot of things i do in my life i stem from my childhood. when me and jeff have problems i try to run to avoid confortation. THats why alot of times i dont asnwer pms or dont answer at all. call me a kid or whatever you want but my "dad" is a bad alcoholic and i went thru some stuff that no kid should ever have to experience. anyways do you think i should "rock the boat" or just let it be and be my messed up self for ever???
sorry so long.....im trying to make a gret year for 2007 and think i really need to get some things out in the open. I consider you all my friends and i hope you feel the same.