Darlene,
Again, many thoughts and hugs going out to you and your family during this most difficult of time
I, too, have been where you are now and know the devastating loss and overwhelming grief you are feeling.
My precious Katie was only 8 years old - I too thought I'd have her at least another 5 years, hopefully longer. Aside from collitis when she was younger, she was never sick - great check-ups at the vet, routine shots - if she sneezed, I took her in! I was so over-protective of her. On a Sunday evening, she started wheezing, not bad enough for an emergency visit although I did call the vet. He said to bring her in the next morning and he'd check her out. So, off we go to the vet bright and early to see what was up. Anytime we went anywhere, Katie had to sit on my shoulders and look out the window (I know, not the safest place for her to be but that's where she wanted to be - my pillow
) While driving to the vet, I could hear the wheezing and knew it was a little worse than the night before. The vet checked her out, took x-rays and drew blood. He said she either had pneumonia (this was in October of that year) or was in congestive heart failure. He gave her a shot of antibiotics and gave me a prescription of antibiotics, told me I had to wait 20 minutes to make sure she didn't react to the shot (like the human docs make us human patients do - impressed me!!). After 20 minutes, he came back and said I could take her home and if she got worse to call or bring her back in. Hubby was supposed to go hunting that afternoon but later told me something told him he needed to stay home. I left Katie with her daddy and went to work. I got a call at 2:30 that afternoon to meet him at the vet as he was taking Katie in. By the time I got there, my precious baby was gone!! I vividly remember standing at the counter in the vet's office crying, "my baby, my baby". The vet could not explain why the fluid collected so quickly around her heart and in her lungs from that morning! But she had so much fluid, they could not even intubate her and she was gone. I was so devestated and went into a severe depression....Katie was our first "baby", having gotten her before we ever decided to have kids. I didn't even want to think about getting another one because I just didn't want to lose my heart to another. It took me 6 months to finally decide something was missing from our family and only another yorkie could fill that void. It then took me another year to find the perfect one for us - and Gabby will be 10 in February. In the past 2 years (almost), we've also added Gage, our rescue, so we have 2 yorkies to love and lavish attention on.
You will know in your heart when the time is right to search for another furbaby to love. Some get another right away while others wait, it all boils down to when it "feels" right for you. There IS another furbaby out there just waiting for you!
God bless you and your family! Will keep the prayers coming. And I loved her name
Suzi