Every year I write a poem for Christmas I thought I'd share it
Christmas 2006
A Very Merry Wal-mart Christmas
The First of December a nice Friday night
Some shopping at Wal-mart seemed perfectly right.
One look at the parking lot made me realize
That shopping on this day just might not be wise.
The drivers just crept through the full parking lot
Just cruising and waiting to find the best spot.
Those pushing their carts with the gifts piled high
Would not step aside for the cars to get by
I park in the first empty spot that I find
It seemed so much wiser than waiting in line
I take out my list and I head for the store
The bell ringer?s sitting in front of the door.
With one glance around it was perfectly clear
I?d rather be anywhere other than here
This trip will take all of my patience and more
I take a deep breath as I head through the door
Just inside the doors where the carts are all kept
T?was hard to believe there were just a few left
I pick out my cart and I don my best smile,
I say to myself that this could take a while.
The isles were crawling with kids large and small
And parents who couldn?t control them at all
I look at the chaos and just wonder why
They don?t move their kids so that I can get by.
Kids whining and crying how awful the sound
One kid in a wheel chair almost ran me down
He?s chasing another kid ?round all the racks
I feared I?d be left there with tracks on my back
Some snotty nosed kids that had colds in their heads
Had matted hair like they had just come from bed
And kids with no shoes climbing ?round on the racks
The socks on their feet, were once white, now they?re black
Somehow I managed to move through the store
Just looking for items that I went there for
A bottle of pills for the pain in my head
A gallon of milk and a fresh loaf of bread
A wee pair of socks that would stay on small feet
A couple of toys and a box of dog treats
Some yarn for an afghan I?m planning to make
More pills for the headache I just couldn?t shake
With things from my list I had managed to find
A checker I spot with a very short line.
Just one woman there, getting ready to pay
I unload my cart and then I hear her say
She wanted some gift cards before she would go
Just where could she find them she wanted to know
The clerk stood there frowning and scratching his head
I soon realized I had something to dread
He didn?t know what she was talking about
?They?re right over there,? I just wanted to shout
She took her sweet time as she picked out her cards
For me to be patient by now was quite hard
I leave the store grateful that I?m still alive
For I was quite sure that I would not survive
Dear Santa just one thing I?d like Christmas Day
Please bring me a T-shirt, I want it to say
I
SURVIVED
CHRISTMAS
SHOPPING
AT WALMART