[AngieGA]

It has been 20 weeks ago today that we lost Dexter. In some ways it seems like forever and in other ways it seems like just yesterday.

It is our first Christmas without him, but his stocking hangs with all of ours anyway. It has been a very difficult time for me and our family. He was such a HUGE part of our family - I know that people here understand that and don't think we are crazy for missing him so much.

On Sunday's (our last night with Dexter) I wear the shirt I wore when I held him for the last time at the vet. On Monday's I relive that day in my mind and wish that there was something I could have done to change it.

I remember that even as sick as he was, he still kissed me and wanted me to hold him. It breaks my heart that he isn't here with us.

Some of you may remember my parent's lost their poodle (Honey) a few weeks after we lost Dexter; she had been sick and I felt when Dexter got sick suddenly that it may be for him to pave the way for Honey - to make it easier in some sort of way for my parent's. I am not sure that was the case, but I do know hope that by us experiencing loosing Dexter that it somehow let them feel that Honey wasn't/isn't alone.

Today my mom gave me a picture she found of Honey, Dexter and her two other dogs eating in their kitchen (it was before we had Tye). It brought back a ton of memories from both dogs....Honey was 14 and Dexter was 11. The time spent with them was such a joy. Dexter was so loving, kind and just loved me to no end. No matter what I did or said, he loved me unconditional.

He was my buddy and I miss him so much.

Rest in peace Dexter and Honey - we all miss you so very much!!