You are correct, if everyone waited until they could afford a baby, there would be a lot less babies.
Guaranteeing a child a life of luxury is not the best for the child. There are many poor children that grow up to be happy well adjusted successful adults. and then there is Paris Hilton.
If the parent/s are happy, the child will be happy and it has absolutely nothing to do with money.
Your child needs to know it is loved, it needs a roof over it's head, food and clothing.
BTW have you applied to WIC? If not, you should, even before the baby is born.
As for choosing whether or not the father will help with support, or the tax payers. That isn't an option. If you apply for Assistance, they will automatically go after the father for the money. If you don't provide the name of the father, then you don't get assistance.
So the decision is whether you are going to support her yourself, or have him pay sujpport.
In a situation like this, the woman is pretty much in control. tha man has very little say in the matter.
Personaly I don't feel you owe him an explaination. If he absolutely did not want children, then he shouldn't have been having sex. He's not a teenager, he knew it could happen, it's a chance you take when you have sex.
Hope that helps. Every thing has a way fo working out. don't stress over money. it will be there when you need it, if you have faith. If you don't have faith, well then............... that could be why you are stressed.
Good Luck.