When we first brought Toto home, we didn't allow the smaller grandchildren to hold her [still don't]! Our 15 yr. old granddaughter is the only one who can pick her up and hold her. The smaller ones can sit on the floor and she plays all over them but they aren't allowed to grab at her or restrain her! She runs to her X-pen if she feels intimidated and as long as she is in there, they aren't allowed to bother her. They understand that this is her self-imposed "time out" and leave her alone until she comes out to play again.
It all works really well and she has never shown any aggression ... just fright when they first arrive and are too loud! [Sometimes I want to run and hide too!!
] The 7 yr. old grandson had her "corraled" in the kitchen right after we got her and he and his little brother were very loud and it took her several months before she would approach them! I felt so badly for them because she acted like she just hated them ... but they were just so unruly, she didn't care for them at all ... she is beginning to warm up to them gradually!
Perhaps it is better for them to choose who they want to socialize with [like Higgins, Toto is a pretty good judge of character!
].