Jessica,
When I was just your age I became pregnant from a boy I had dated for 2 yrs. I always thought we would get married one day, but when I told him I was pregnant, he certainly wasnt very supportive. What he said to me was so painful. He didnt want to be a father so young, he didnt want to get married so young, he just wasnt interested in any of it. Thinking back, I think he was scared to death like me, but it didnt matter then. His disinterest and anxiety over the baby cut me up emotionally like a knife.
It didnt help matters that I had been preached to and heard all my life that "If any girl of mine is stupid enough to get pregnant, before marriage and in high school they will need to find a new place to live, cause they wont live here" So I had never NEVER felt so alone in my whole life.
At 17 yrs old I wasnt very mature emotionally or strong. I finally told my mom and stepdad, who I lived with and then I told my biological father. My mom and stepfather attended church 3 times a week, and I had too until I began to rebel at 16 yrs old. My real dad wasnt a religious man at all.
All of them insisted I have an abortion. They told me I was smarter then that and they would not allow me to ruin my life at my age. That is what happened too, I never was given any options, no one supported me to help me with a baby or adoption was never mentioned. It was hush hush, very private.
The truth is at 17 yrs old I didnt want a baby either. I wasnt ready to be a mother until I was in my 30's. I really wasnt a stupid girl either just immature, I even on my own thought about adoption, but I didnt think I could live with that either. I was to selfish for consideration to give my baby to someone else to care for, knowing I might not see them for yrs or never see them again period. At the tender age of 17, with no support at all in any other direction, that became my reality.
I guess what I am trying to say to you is ...........I understand. Whatever choice you make in your situation must be right for you. If you dont want an abortion, there are options! Maybe you have someone to support you, help you, to keep the baby near or in the family even! Open adoptions too! I dont know your family so maybe they will be more understanding for you then mine was. Not so rigid and demanding.
My opinion is its truly more selfish to get an abortion, then to adopt a sweet baby out to a loving family. I still think about it, a burden I will always have to bare. There are couples out there that crave a baby so bad, and would give a baby such a wonderful home. Couples that would give you the oppurtunity to see the baby, let you have a relationship with your baby.
So you consider what you need and want. You do what you feel is right in your heart and life. And even if you find no support at home, I am hoping you do! You DO have options.
Sending you a great big bear hug!!!!!!! |