Well now you know I just CAN'T resists!
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 VISITORS GUIDE TO BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA
2. To find any place in the city, it is required that you know where Malfunction Junction is... |
True...and avoid it al all times during a time w/ heavy traffic...think about it...Mal-func-tion!
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 p.m. To 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning and runs through Saturday noon. If the term "merging delays" is ever used by the radio/TV traffic reporter...even in passing...call into work and tell them you will be at least 30 minutes late regardless of where you are in your commute.... |
True...cept there's no one to call into cause they're all stuck too! Only in the Ham can a wreck on on interstate back up traffic on another...on the other side of the city.
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be (at the very least) rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. |
The later being a high probability.
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 Always, always, always, find out if it is a race weekend (at the Talladega Speedway) before you get on any of these roads to travel somewhere. If it is a race weekend, stay home or go to the races. You won't be going anywhere else. |
ABSOLUTELY...and if you don't have reservations...even at Hooters...you ain't gonna get in to eat anytime soon either, so plan to eat at home.
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 Construction is a permanent fixture in Bur-min-ham. The orange barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. |
The Valleydale exit area would by far be the worst at the present moment.
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs, cones, barrels, cows, horses, potholes, cats, armadillos, pieces of other cars, oppossum, truck tires, racoons, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or vultures feeding on any of these items. |
Oppossum? Who are we trying to impress with our proper spelling? Possum starts with a "P."
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 The minimum acceptable speed on I-65 (see item 5 above) is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is the Alabama State Highway sponsored version of NASCAR especially during rush hour (see item 3 above) when everyone is driving 85 mph at once...bumper to bumper. If you are in the left lane going 70 mph in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped a bird" accordingly. |
Amen to that! I drive this road EVERY afternoon and yes, that was me with the hand gesturing!
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 If it's 110 degrees, next weekend must be Thanksgiving. |
HA HA HA HA....TRUE!!!
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 If you need to let the car "get some air" by standing next to it with the doors open for a minute before you can stick your upper body inside to crank it and get the air going, it's Summer. |
Or the week before T'giving, as we have already established. And yes, "get some air" is a common phrase.
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 Yes, we know that Vulcan is mooning the entire city. It's not that funny to us anymore. |
OK...I still think it's funny. I think they should have put THAT on the quarter!
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Originally Posted by RLC12345678 If you ask someone for a "coke," they will immediately ask you, "What kind?" This is not a trick question. Tell them what you want: Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer, etc. -- they're all "coke." |
True!