Okay, I am not a vet, and even though this is probably going to be long, I am no pro either! We totally have our share of issues
-- but I do have a great marriage and a great husband! We took 2 marriage classes before getting married, over 4 years ago. And I was in a not so great relationship before my husband that I learned a lot from-
Here are a few things we learned and try to live by-
----------------PART 1-----------------
* Don't say one thing when you mean another and make them guess what you really want. Say what you mean.
*Compliment on even the little things (it feels good to be appreciated).
*Let the other person have emotional freedom--don't tell them how they should be feeling.
*Don't expect the other person to make you happy all the time. You choose to be happy!
*Take on hobbies and common interests together, so you have things you truly enjoy doing as a couple.
-We have taken up kayaking, road triping and dog training so far. We have shows we like together too, like FRIENDS, LOST ect that we get excited to watch together.
*Let yourself laugh-- it isn't fun to be around someone who is negative and/or angry all the time.
*Spend quality time together--weekly dates, dinners, traditions, ect.
When we were first dating we started to have our own Christmas on the Christmas Eve Eve that is dedicated to a romantic dinner and small gift exchange just between us. We have even signed my mom up for babysitting duty when we have kiddos. I want that to be our Christmas forever!!
*When it is possible, fall asleep together, no TV, so you fall asleep talking to each other, it is amazing the conversations people miss when they don't fall asleep together.
*Spoil each other
*If you want a better husband, BE a better wife! Or vice versa... If you want a better wife BE a better husband.
I could keep going, my marriage teacher rocked!!
----------------------PART 2----------------------
The other thing I thought was REALLY interesting is that there are three "types of people" when it comes to showing affection.
1-Physical (not in a sexual way)--holding hands, patting back, rubbing leg, kissing forhead ect..
2-Verbal-- Saying I love you, telling them how you feel, talking about it ect...
3-Doing things-- Small gifts, favorite meals, cleaning for them, ect...
Some people think that they are not being told they are loved because they expect the person to do it the way they do it.
For example I am totally a "doing thing" person while my hubby is "physical" person. I am not one to hold hands, but I will give little gifts, treats, and cards to him. He didn't see that was how I was showing him that I loved him. All he saw was that I didn't want to hold hands all the time. When we heard this, it totally clicked for us!! We were like "Oh!!!"
Now we can both see that the other person is showing love and affection and we both work on being more what the other person is, because that is how they "feel" it.
WOAH!! I wrote a newsletter!! Sorry!