I know what you are going through, my daughter (22) has a little bit better relationship with her dad than my son (21)..I don't think he has seen or spoken to him in 3 years...He has been remarried for about 10 years and has a new family also, He just forgot he had 2 older kids, & the stepmom never really cared about either one, maybe it was cause she was almost the same age...8 years older
...You can't be bitter, but you need to make sure she makes the decision to change her name...I think you have to be 18 to legally do it without his consent...It is a very tough road, and my heart goes out to you and your children, its not fair, but I think it makes them alittle stronger, and they see how some people really are early in life...believe me if I could of somehow not let them go through all of this I would have, but there is nothing you really can do, talking to him will not help so don't waste your time...Just hang in there, my prayers are with your family.....