First of all, I hate to hear that you are having to go through sometime like this. I know how hard it must be on you.
It seems like the ONLY way ya'll would be able to get through this is if yall BOTH go through marriage counseling...not just you, but BOTH. So, I would give him an ultimatum...tell him that he HAS to go through counseling with you, no matter how big of a quack he thinks it is, or you will file for divorce. If it ends up being divorce, I would sit your sons down and tell them that they better not EVER treat women how your husband has treated you...that it is unacceptable. Try to look for a book that you can share with your sons on how women should be treated.
You do not deserve this kind of treatment. You deserve to have a partner, a companion, someone that is your best friend. NOT someone who talks down to you constantly. I would make divorce a last resort, but I would NOT, under any circumstances, allow your husband to speak to you in the manner that he does....verbal abuse is just as bad a physical abuse IMO. He needs to learn that he IS NOT perfect and that it takes TWO to make a marraige work.
GOOD LUCK. Big hugs from me to you. I will keep you in my prayers.