I am crying with you as I read this message. I hurt so bad for you and all I can do is pray as hard as I can that the Lord does what he knows is best for River. I understand what you mean about getting attached to these precious animals,it only takes minutes to lose your heart forever.If you were my daughter I would want to give you hugs and be there for you,since I am not,please know that you are in my heart and that everyone on YT is sharing your pain as well as your hopes.