Oh wow - that's so hard and I don't know what to say.....I wish you all the best and while you do have to put your family first - in the long run - you may resent your husband so much for this it could really hurt your marriage. It should be a 2 way street - not one person calling the shots.
I would be so devasted too hearing this. I'm so lucky my husband loves the girls and tolerates things like this well. But I also understand not everyone does.....
Is there just ONE room you can have him stay in and try to train him to only use a pad ...then gradually let him out in the house ?
I hope you get some help here and things work out for you and Parker.