[Tashasmom]

Thank you all so much.
I hadn't thought of chicken wire. Our pasture is almost 3 acres, we only have two horses. Payton & Ozzy. We got them for our girls. They were both rescues which is another reason I'm having a hard time on what to do. We saved them from a bad home and wanted to give them a good home. We wanted them to know what it was like to be able to roam a pasture instead of being cooped up in a barn all day. Ozzy was so scared of water it took us 4 months to show him crossing the creek was safe. He spent most of his 3 years in a barn and small area. Payton was so skinny you could see every bone in his body. He is still putting on weight but looks a hundred percent better. I was looking at them today and I feel so guilty for being so upset at them. I watched them run across the pasture and they looked so happy and carefree...not even knowing that I wasn't sure I even wanted them there. I just don't know how I feel..I feel so much guilt about all of this. Guilty because it happened and guilty cause i put as much blame on them as I have myself. Knowing that it wasn't their fault. They are beautiful horses and I know I am just hurt.
I got tasha as a pup and she was 2 years and 7 months when she died. She was with us for almost 2 and half years. But I am lucky in the sense that I do have other pets to help pull me through this as well as support from so many of you. And there is Lucy, my cocker..she is a dream come true. She has let me cry in her fur for the last few days. She loves her mama thats for sure. She knows i'm sad and hasn't much left my side. She knows I need her right now..Jersey has been here but she needs time to heal as well. Tasha was a big part of her everyday life. Jersey took so much love and comfort from tasha. She is doing better though. She did get down and play with her babies some. So she is pulling through.
I do know at some point I will get another female. I do breed but to be honest i'm just not ready and don't know when I will be. I need time to get through this and bringing a pup into this right now just isn't what I feel is best for me. I need my time to heal. But when the time is right I'm sure you all will be one of the first to know. So thank you.
I am really sorry for your loss as well. It is so scary putting our little ones under. Anything can go wrong. I know I have always had a big fear of being put under and not coming back out of it. So anytime they do put me under I wake up in a total panick. It's scary. But my heart and prayers go out to all of you that have lost someone you love. Christy