I wouldn't leave your house to get away from her although San Diego is a wonderful place
My neice who is 10 and lives with us sometimes plays both sides and will go to my fiance' to get what she wants. I just tell her if you go to him there wil be consequences i.e. earlier bedtime, no friends spending the night etc. I also agree with the fact that she has too much time on her hands. Get her into a camp so when she comes home she is tired. I agree with chattiesmom don't let her see you angry and don't let her see you running to him to tell him what she did. You are a grown women you shouldn't have to run and tell on a child. I think you need to handle it yourself as hard as it may be it will be the best thing for you, your husband and her because obviously there isn't much discipline in her life. It doesn't seem like either parent it teaching her much. Like I tell my niece you may not like me now, but you will love me for it later. I can't stand a smart mouth child because I know they become smart mouth adults.