Just received a cute email
Dog's Diary
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
Cat's Diary
Day 183 of my captivity ... My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while
I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their
furniture. Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repel these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember
to try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable, and to strike fear into their evil hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan....
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are lickspittles and, perhaps,
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is clearly a half-wit. I believe the bird, on the other hand,
to be an informant who speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room,
his safety is assured. But I am patient. I can wait, it is only a matter
of time... |